“Motives and Thoughts”

Looking for lessons and encouragement from this smack of reality I’ve been faced with as a born and raised Baltimorean, I thought to myself, I have lots to be thankful for. I appreciate the ability to see and encourage positivity in the face of adversity no matter what. I have experienced and continue to experience pain, fear and anger but I refuse to allow these emotions to taint my thoughts and motives.  I find comfort in the idea that motives and thoughts are keys to unlocking acceptance of royalty, self worth, and an abundance of power that is long overdue. In the final days of National Poetry Month I acknowledge with Lauryn Hill’s “Motives and Thoughts” the struggle and encourage the process of healing and growth.  I appreciate each moment I am given and the place in which it was given to me. I look forward to justice for Freddie Gray. I appreciate my Baltimore. I love my Baltimore.

Motives and Thoughts

Rotating bodies, confusion of sound

Negative imagery, holding us down

Social delusion, clearly constructed

Human condition, morals corrupted

Trapped in reaction, lawlessness, war

Dissatisfaction from bowels to core

Devil’s technology, strategy for

Human mythologies, urban folklore

Sick of psychology, counterfeit cure

Wicked theology, robbing the poor

Scheme demonology mislead the pure

Strictly strategically studying war

Light shown in darkness, image exposed

Few can see through the new emperor’s clothes

Lustful this hustle turn humans to hoes

When the blind lead the blind, just more trouble and woes

It’s the mind that they chose

It’s designed to stay closed

Standard of jokers, court jester a logic

Sick looking cosmics, from schoolyards to college

Primitive man with civilized knowledge

System collapse and he still won’t acknowledge

God is the savior, studies behavior

Trying to fix the mix mind that he gave ya

Stiff-necked scholars on prescription meds

Wishing their problems were all in their heads

Moral dilemma, pride is the root

Misguided from youth, heart divided from truth

Egyptians and Grecians, spiritually dead

Imperially led, by the gods in their heads

Motives and thoughts

Industrial wealth

Global economy, in it for self

Heart full of madness, covered with kind

Pleasure designed to take over your mind

Furnished in godliness, painted in good

This tainted priesthood got real saints misunderstood

While classes in government, set up the veil

And cultivate minds for more mythical tales

Typical Hollywood follies good girl

While vice and corruption take over the world

Motives and thoughts

Check your motives and thoughts

Blind with the wickedness is all you’ve been taught

Lied to your neighbors, so you get ahead

Modern day trickery is all you’ve been fed

Motives and thoughts

-Lauryn Hill

“For women who are ‘difficult’ to love”

Warsan Shire, a young Kenya born poetess offers a viewpoint of what it means to be… I am woman, hear me roar! I love this poem. I hope you enjoy.

 

You are a horse running alone

and he tries to tame you

compares you to an impossible highway

to a burning house

says you are blinding him

that he could never leave you

forget you

want anything but you

you dizzy him, you are unbearable

every woman before or after you

is doused in your name

you fill his mouth

his teeth ache with memory of taste

his body just a long shadow seeking yours

but you are always too intense

frightening in the way you want him

unashamed and sacrificial

he tells you that no man can live up to the one

who

lives in your head

and you tried to change didn’t you?

closed your mouth more

tried to be softer

prettier

less volatile, less awake

but even when sleeping you could feel

him traveling away from you in his dreams

so what did you want to do, love

split his head open?

you can’t make homes out of human beings

someone should have already told you that

and if he wants to leave

then let him leave

you are terrifying

and strange and beautiful

something not everyone knows how to love.

Phenomenal Woman

This poem needs no introduction. It is one of Maya Angelou’s most famous. I wanted to not only pay homage to this wonderful woman who paved the way for many, but also recognize National Poetry Month with one of my personal favorites. Read on and find some inspiration as I have and often do.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

-Maya Angelou

Something Else to Celebrate

April is National Poetry Month. America is famous for finding things to celebrate each month. Poetry is only one of the many things assigned to April. I know these “holidays” are a marketing ploy and a means for people to boost sales or visibility but they really can be wonderful ways to observe things that otherwise might be overlooked.

While I’m not much of a poet I get inspired by others work. I will spend time this month showcasing poetry that I enjoy. I hope you find some inspiration as I have.

Battle of the Willful Child

A leader in the making is what parents of willful children have. Parents, friends and extended relatives tend to think of willful children as stubborn, troublesome, and just plain ol difficult. I mean…the definition of willful is having or showing a stubborn and determined intention to do as one wants, regardless of the consequences or effects; while to lead means to be in charge or command of. When a child is determined to do as they please they are searching for control or a way to be in charge of their own destiny. What person doesn’t want to have some sort of control? I don’t know too many. “I scream, I yell, I punish, I take away things and nothing works. She continues to do the exact opposite of what I ask. I am going crazy!” Does any of this sound familiar? Could it be that you, the parent wants control too?

Things that make you go hmmm… Everyone can’t be the leader at the same time and what we don’t want is to quell the tenacity and leadership qualities in our children by shutting them down or making them feel “less than”. Is it really necessary for you to argue with your child? Does it help your bottom line or make the situation worse? Setting limits are necessary and so is listening and identifying with the child. Together, this practice of listening, empathizing, and setting boundaries help eliminate the need to make the other feel “less than.” Is it a crime to give a child a choice or allow them to control some situations? When safety and clarity are priorities you might be surprised at the success rate you begin to encounter with offering a little freedom and choice. It not only allows the child to feel more in control it takes some of the stressful responsibility away from you.

Things to remember that help diminish the battle with the willful child are:
1. Set limits/boundaries

2. Identify with the child. What are they feeling? Could they be trying to tell you something?

3. Listen to your children just as you want to be listened to. Our children are our most influential teachers and they are a reflection of us.

Recognize that your child could be the future president. Don’t be a reason for them to stop expressing themselves in ways that make sense to them. Your willful child is a leader in the making.

 

Why Being a Temp is the Opportunity of a Lifetime…Especially for Moms

As I’m sure some of you know by now, I am a freelance mama and an advocate for other freelance mamas. I am a part of a growing network of people who have an abundance of skills that are so advantageous. Together, other women and myself have so many options to choose from when it comes to business, arts, planning, writing, management, education, travel, personal needs, and the list goes on. It’s kind of like personal access to a plethora of useful goodies. I use this network to make money, to learn new skills, to teach my children, to market my business, and to help others do what it is they love.

Have you ever asked yourself “Am I doing what I truly want to do?” I mean this is one simple question that sometimes we don’t even know the answer to until we have accomplished some things and made some mistakes. I’m just saying. Why not follow that path that fear has been keeping you from. Be a contractual face painter. Be a dance teacher for your daughters class during the school year. Teach jewelry making to your moms group that meets once a month. Be an artist all of the time except when your temporarily doing taxes for a few months every year.

Temp work is simply limiting your “work” schedule to the times that are beneficial to you. I’m not talking about signing up for a temp agency unless  that’s what you want to do. I’m talking about working freelance. You decide.

Have questions about being or becoming a Freelance Mama, ask Coach Jamila.

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I am so confused!

Often times we find ourselves in a self-induced state of confusion, crazy, insanity, lack of clarity, and so on and so on. Why do we do this to ourselves? Repeatedly? The answer is way more simple than you may think. In fact most things are more simple than we make them. Simplicity is a repellent for confusion.

I do know that we are creatures of habit, answering the question of why we do this repeatedly, but that doesn’t always help. Believe me, I’m not the expert in simplifying things. In fact I often write a blog entry when I am attempting to remind myself of what I need to do.

Picture this. I’m homeschooling my daughter, building and promoting my business, planning a 10 year vow renewal ceremony, planning a big move, mothering one son from a distance (all kinds of guilt and money involved), being present at my other son’s school, being supportive in my husband’s business, along with lots of other day-to-day things that pop up on the regular. I mean I’m just saying….simplicity doesn’t even seem possible when I look at this list. When I think of the person I can and have become when confusion surrounds my mind and body I get weary. I fear for the feelings of those around me. Scary, right?

Well, on to being solution focused. There has to be a way to simplify my life without abandoning all responsibilities and hurting others feelings. I don’t want to continue beating on myself and others. I don’t want to be confused! Does any of this sound familiar? Breathe!!! It’s going to be ok! I promise!

Here we go. Let’s keep in mind what causes confusion-action without direction. If I do something to myself or someone else that has an undefined meaning, one or both of us will eventually wonder why and get irritated by the action. So, when we add some direction in there we start the process of simplification and understanding.

Pairing our needs and interests with our objectives/goals eliminates unnecessary action that is often undefined. In a nutshell, It comes down to organization/preparation with repetition.

Now check out this new picture. Upon waking up, before getting out of bed I make a list of what I want to accomplish that day. Next, I number each item according to priority. After this, the other necessary day preparation takes place in a stress free manner. I am taking my time completing tasks that are defined and clear. I am no longer confused. Everyday that I follow this plan of action I accomplish so much more and I am less stressed and confusion is a thing of the past. Remember, simplicity is the repellent for confusion.

A New Day of Crazy

Once again new things are on the horizon. In fact I’d like to think something new and exciting happens everyday. Unfortunately, I’m not organized enough to write about all the new trials, greatness, crazy… I will admit with each new day there is an introduction of “crazy” that I didn’t know existed.

Crazy doesn’t mean bad. It can mean chaos, excitement, love, fear, drama and so much more. We have all experienced it. We all interpret it in our own way. Some days we are more equipped to handle differing forms of crazy than other days. What’s a girl to do when the level of crazy is beyond anything she has ever experienced or knows what to do with?

Well…. Hmmmm…. It will come to you…eventually. Do you want my take on it? Here it is..what has worked for me and a few others I have come in contact with is to:

1. Eat- Snack on some filling and healthy brain food such as nuts, a fruit smoothie, or a boiled egg. Your mind can play tricks on you when your hungry or dehydrated making way for unnecessary stress.

2. Dissect (identify) the madness- Determine what is causing the problem. List the things that are not a part of your “normal” routine.

3. Exercise your mind- Think about those things you have listed in a different way. Try being creative in organizing your thoughts on paper. Try different formats or graphic organizers (the same kind you use when writing a paper) to bring understanding to the source of the “crazy”.

3. Remind yourself of what brings calm to your life- Having flowers and/or plants around have proven to be successful in relieving stress and anxiety. Give someone a kiss to help release endorphins. Go for a walk.

4. Acknowledge the potential use of the newfound stressor- A new task was added to your already full schedule means you must learn how to multi-task in an organized fashion or get better with time-management. Your child gets in trouble in school offers you an opportunity to be proactive in delegating household responsibility. There is always a learning opportunity.

5. Plan for whatever is next- You now have the chance to plan your next steps with the newfound “crazy” in mind. You are a step ahead of where you were before. You now have the ability to change your chaos to order.

This process could take as little or as long as you like. You may be crazy, as we all are but you ultimately have the power. Your crazy doesn’t ever have to ruin your day.

Taking a Stand

How do we take a stand in the face of injustice? This question has come to mind as social media has been the recent forum to support the 200 plus missing Nigerian girls. Our voice makes for some change. Our connections make for some change. Our desire to go beyond ourselves makes for lots of change. 

Social justice involves taking a stand and more often than not, taking leadership against injustice. The number of causes are infinite. Willingness to get off the sidelines, take a risk and move beyond a personal source of pride and “sticking to what you know” is a necessity in maintaining morality among thy neighbors. 

Morality among thy neighbors is just a concept to some but as a mother and a teacher and coach of girls and women it is my duty to participate. What would you do if your child was kidnapped and tortured? As an advocate for mothers I am privy to many causes. There is teen pregnancy, cyber bullying (this is more prevalent among girls), the criminalizing of midwives, the health status of the food readily available to our children and the list goes on and on. Taking a stand is only as hard as you make it. 

“The progress of the world will call for the best that all of us have to give.” Mary McLeod Bethune